Running

Quarantine

I spend or should I say spent all of my days before the isolation running.

Running to the studio to teach.

Running to help my mom.

Running home to my husband.

Running to help my daughter with her baby, my granddaughter.

Running to help my son.

Running.

Running. 

Running.

Stillness.

I am growing and learning in this stillness. Some of the things I do not want to look at.

I find ways, even in isolation, to keep running.

Running to plan a virtual class to teach.

Running to take care of my granddaughter who can’t go to childcare.

Running to figure out what to fix for dinner since I can’t go to the grocery store every day like I prefer to do.

Running out the door to go on a walk.

I asked my friend today if she had written about the stillness. I wonder because being still is hard for me. Is it hard for others?

When I am still, I may have to face things I don’t want to face. 

Am I worthy?

Am I enough?

Am I strong?

Am I intelligent?

Am I able to help?

Was I wrong?

Did I cause pain?

Stillness.

I am worthy. I am enough. I am strong. I am intelligent. I help.

I do

the best I can.

I breathe.

I am not perfect.

I slow down.

I breathe.

I am still.