Regrets

I just finished reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I was completely immersed in this book. I love the premise of the book and the writing is wonderful. This book proposes that there is a place where all of the possibilities of our life is stored. It is an intriguing idea. When you read this, you put yourself into the book and think about the choices you made in your life.

Just to think, if I had done one thing differently, I would not be where I am today.

I love my life. I have gone through so many challenges in my life.

I had all the childhood diseases, to include rheumatic fever, and ended up with a heart murmur. If my parents had not taken me to the doctor soon enough it could have been much worse.

My dad was in the military, and we moved around often when I was a child. If we had lived in Centerville, TN where he grew up, my life would be different.

My body image issues began.

I went to Castle Heights Military Academy for high school. It was a perfect fit for me at that time in my life. I did not believe in myself at all. The kids at my public junior high school had all gone to school together since kindergarten and I never felt like I fit in. Castle Heights was a school that I felt accepted in.

My parents started having marital problems my freshman year in college and got divorced after my sophomore year. I have often wondered how different my life would have been if they had been happily married.

I dated many people looking for my person, the person I felt would love me unconditionally. I dated people my parents loved and people they didn’t like. I judged who I was with by how they fit into my family.

My body image issues were working overtime.

I married an officer in the U.S. Army. I loved being an army wife. I loved supporting the “mission”. I loved moving around. I loved the possibilities. If he had chosen Nashville as his last duty station instead of Lubbock TX, my life would be different.

I had cancer.

I survived cancer.

I got divorced.

I moved back to Tennessee in 2009. My mom lived in Crossville instead of Nashville.

In 2011, I bought a yoga studio and ran it as a side business. I found my community.

I got my master’s degree in Business in 2012 at Middle Tennessee State University.

I opened CatFit Yoga with my sister, Lauren, in 2014.

I met Edward in 2014. He changed my life. He changed my life by accepting all the pieces of me and not requiring me to change. If I had made any different choices, I would not be where I am today. I am the person I am because of the choices I made.

If I had focused on the regrets in my life…

If I had obsessed about the choices, I did not make…

I would not have lived my life as fully. I would not have been open to possibilities when they arose.

It is easy to focus on the what ifs.

When we do that though, we miss out on the what is.