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I forgive me

This is the week of Thanksgiving. A time to give thanks and look back at the year and recognize what we are grateful for. It is also a time or compassion, love and forgiveness.

I taught a yoga class to my yoga teacher trainees yesterday focused on compassion and forgiveness. It was taught with a candle in front of each yogi. It was taught with an open heart. It was taught with love. As I moved through the poses, I spoke to them about forgiveness for others and for ourselves.

I thought about the people I need to forgive.

The people that have hurt me.

I thought about my need to be forgiven by people I have hurt.

As I thought about this, I realized there is a person I had not considered forgiving, me. I have blamed myself and my body for many things. Some things may be justified, others are not.

If someone is agitated, regardless of what it has to do with, I begin wondering what I did to upset them. It hurts my heart to always feel I am blaming myself.

I have learned to accept that it is not always about me.

I forgive me.

I blame myself when I have any disagreements with anyone. I forget that it takes two people to have a disagreement. When I went through my divorce, I blamed myself for all that had gone wrong in my marriage. I did this for so many years until I realized that it takes two people to let a marriage disintegrate.

I accept my responsibility for my part.

I forgive me.

I was angry with myself for having cancer. I had to have done something wrong. I didn’t eat clean enough, I didn’t exercise enough, I didn’t meditate enough, I didn’t pray enough. I didn’t … the list could go on and on. Cancer just happened.

I recognize that I cannot always control everything. I love, honor and accept myself.

I forgive me.

I get frustrated with myself when I get overcommitted. This is my fault, but I can learn to say no or not right now.

I forgive me.

To forgive ourselves and others we have to open our mind to the possibility of forgiveness. What keeps us holding onto resentment and anger? Release it. What benefit do we get from holding onto it? None - let it go. As we moved through the yoga poses, I asked each of the yogis to breathe in and say, I forgive me. I asked them to exhale, I forgive others. Breathe in forgiveness for yourself and exhale compassion and forgiveness for others.

The blame game is not beneficial to anyone. It steals your happiness. It steals your joy. It steals your life. It is easier to have compassion for yourself when you begin tearing down the walls caused by resentment, anger and even fear. When we forgive ourselves and take responsibility for our actions, we begin to take control.

To have true forgiveness, you must start with yourself then you can send your love, compassion and forgiveness out to others.

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