Updated: Aug 23, 2020
I wore a two-piece bathing suit
in the pool
with my daughter and granddaughter.
I held my belly in tight.
I held my back up straight.
My daughter said, “cute suit”.
That’s all – cute suit.
you need a one-piece suit.
you need a flatter belly.
you need a tan to look slimmer.
Just —cute suit.
And I said, “really”?
She said, “yes, you look great”.
Why do I have a two-piece suit now after wearing a tankini for years?
Because I wanted to wear one.
Because I wanted to show the judgmental part of me that I am perfect as I am while I continue to work out and eat healthy.
Because my mom won’t go swimming now because she doesn’t think she looks good enough in a bathing suit. My mom who loves swimming.
I don’t want to miss a second doing something I enjoy because of something so fleeting as looks.
I won’t miss out on creating memories with my family because I am too busy judging myself.
There is something empowering about just stopping.
Stopping the judgment.
Stopping the limitations, we put on ourselves.
Stopping the disbelief when my husband tells me I look great.
Stopping. Stopping. Stopping.
starting to believe in my outside as much as I believe in the beauty within me.