Bikini

I wore a two-piece bathing suit

yesterday

in the pool

with my daughter and granddaughter.

I held my belly in tight.

I held my back up straight.

My daughter said, “cute suit”.

That’s all – cute suit.

Not,

you need a one-piece suit.

you need a flatter belly.

you need a tan to look slimmer.

Just —cute suit.

And I said, “really”?

She said, “yes, you look great”.

Why do I have a two-piece suit now after wearing a tankini for years?

Because I wanted to wear one.

Because I wanted to show the judgmental part of me that I am perfect as I am while I continue to work out and eat healthy.

Because my mom won’t go swimming now because she doesn’t think she looks good enough in a bathing suit. My mom who loves swimming.

I don’t want to miss a second doing something I enjoy because of something so fleeting as looks.

I won’t miss out on creating memories with my family because I am too busy judging myself.

There is something empowering about just stopping.

Stopping the judgment.

Stopping the limitations, we put on ourselves.

Stopping the disbelief when my husband tells me I look great.

Stopping. Stopping. Stopping.

And,

starting to believe in my outside as much as I believe in the beauty within me.